6th Chemo : Day 6

Today is the last sub-cyle/course of the last chemo. It's 131 days after the ordeal started. But it doesn't mean it stopped here. There are lot's of challenges ahead.

Immediate one is continuing the drip for a day, helping Sarah to recovery post chemo.

And then there's this continuing cirit birit, already in it's 43rd day. Oncologist dah nak cuci tangan. Keja dia dah habis. Dietitian kata continue Neocate, tapi gastroenterologist pulak nak buat biopsi 3 minggu lagi. Mana satu? Mama dan ayah pening, tak tau nak buat apa..What's best for Sarah. Biopsy usus?? Maksudnya perut Sarah akan kena tebuk or kerat lagi. Tak sanggup dah kut. Apa tujuan nak buat? Ada plan ke?? Atau saja nak jadikan Sarah bahan ujikaji atau assignment untuk student2 gastro tu?

Dietitian kata dia boleh rekomen ke welfare utk dapatkan subsidi. Tapi katanya satu orang budak cuma RM5K je kerajaan 1Malaysia Pencapaian Diatamakkan Rakyat DiUlukan bagi subsidi ni.

Mama dan ayah pening bab ceret beret Sarah ni. Messy tu satu hal lah kan, tapi Sarah sendiri, tak boleh nak dapat zat2 makanan yang dijamah, dubur pulak dah melecet..Terpikir nak dapatkan 2nd or 3rd or 4th or......opinion.

Tak lupa jugak Post Chemo risk - HB turun, WBC turun ANC turun, blood poisoning, infection...macam macam ... Ni pun baru je mama sms bagitau Blood in Urine is +ve. Belum pun kluar hospital lagi..

The scariest one is relapse.. the cancer return.. relapse normally happen at a more critical organ eg brain.

Na'uzubillah Min Zalik..

Mama dan ayah reserve our happy feeling for now. Not even sure whether that feeling is supposed to be happy or not.

For now mama can't wait to be home. Mama call cakap dengan Awish dan mama conquer dengan ayah punya observation - there's something not right about Awish.

Dari bangun pagi sampai tidur tadi Awish looks down, and weak. He's not his usual self. Awish kata dia dah tak sakit perut atau nak muntah. Tapi ayah tengok gerak geri Awish, ayah risau but tried to stay positive yang Awish belum 100% recovered from food poisoning.

Biasanya Awish makan laju, tapi tadi Awish masa dekat sejam nak menghabiskan sizzling yee mee ni. Kejap2 tersandar, kejap2 termenung..

Kalau Sarah dan mama dapat release esok, hopefully dapat recharge Awish punya strength, spirit, emotion, everything. In fact not only Awish, but everyone in the family, including ayah.